愛への憎悪
by Donna of the Grey
Summary: Kenny is going to be stuck for three weeks as Tweek's History Partner. And he is not happy. Kenny x Tweek.
1. Week One, Day One: Over

I **want to **_thank _the reviewers _of _this **fic. It's **a **South Park **fic! **C**rack **pa**i_rin_gs are _fun._

X_X_x**I am **the _crack!pairing_** fuzzy alpaca. _Rawr._**X_X_x

**Cat Rain. **_kyolovestomato. _Donna of the Grey.

It doesn't matter.

**Review.**

**X**

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Hello, I'm Kenny McCormick, world's biggest sexaholic. It's nothing to be proud of, but I don't care. Fucking girls left and right it just something that I do. I guess that just started after that blast of puberty, or the fact that I entered high school and hearing everyone's little sexcapades made me interested. Though I can't say I've ever been on the innocent side of the family. Leave it to my father to leave "Playboy" magazines discarded about the house during my childhood.

So I can't say anything in my defense if confronted. However, my interest in sex with all those girls has been waning. Sadly. Ever since that stupid blonde twitching freak decided to waltz into my life.

It is beyond me why the teacher would pair me up with that little disgrace to human kind. I mean, I used to get along with him. That is, until my three friends decided to replace me with him when I was gone for a while. Pissed me of, it did. Okay, okay, I never got along with him. I lied. He was always twitching and freaking out, and that greatly annoyed me. There. Happy with the truth?

And here I am, wondering what I did to deserve this. Is it from fucking all those girls? That brunette sleeping next to me certainly doesn't know and I doubt she could tell me. All she's good for is moaning. And fucking.

I light up a cigarette and instantly inhale some of that smoke, before letting it out in a couple of swirls. God, I hate smoking sometimes. It fucking smells bad, but it's so addicting. I turn to look at the sleeping girl next to me. I wonder what she's dreaming. Probably of the next guy she wants to sleep with. And it's not Tweek.

I want to suffocate myself with the pillow. Why am I stuck with him? He's never calm and moving around, though the twitching is less persistent. I swear, I would definitely love nothing more than to punch him sometimes. Maybe he'd faint and be still.

I smirk at the thought. It's possible. I'd sure like that.

Tossing the cigarette out the open window, I leaned over the brunette and get my jacket. She turns slowly and opens her eyes. "Mmm, lie down Kenny." She takes her hand and pats the space next to her. I scoff. One rule about one night stands I have: I don't stay the night with whatever girl I decide to fuck.

"I gotta get home," I say, "My old man will kill me if I stay out late."

It's barely eleven, but I don't care. That girl is stupid, she won't notice the clock. And she sure as hell doesn't put up a fight. She just sighs in defeat and turns away. "Okay."

That could have gone better. She wasn't as good as I thought she would be. I light up another cigarette and take a long drag. This night sucked. Especially since I have school tomorrow, and that's when I'll see my favorite little blonde; which by the way, I want to choke to death. If only he was more prone to accidents as I was when I was young.

I toss the cigarette in the snow and pull the jacket closer to my body. It's cold. And tomorrow will be worse. Weather wise and Kenny wise. I can last though. It's only Tweek. And I just have to spend three weeks with him. How worse could that be?

I doubt he wants to be with me though. I mean, I generally pick on the guy. For harmless fun if nothing more; really. He's probably at home cutting himself and hugging his teddy bear.

I enter my house and my mother is there waiting in the living room. She turns and glares at me, crossing her arms and letting her cig hand limply between two skinny fingers. "An' where the hell were you, Kenny?"

I scoff. It's none of her fucking business what I do and where I go. If anyone, she should be focused on that dumbass Kevin, who's more of an idiot than I'll ever be. I just smirk at her. "I was out with my friends."

"You fuckin' liar!" She scolds, "I called your friends' houses and you weren' there!"

I glared at her coldly. She called Stan, Kyle, and Cartman's mothers? As if they are the only friends I have? What the fuck?

"No, I wasn't with them. I was with . . . Clyde." I say the first name that came to mind. No doubt he's somewhere fucking that stupid whore Bebe. "And anyway, should you be worried about where Dad is?"

She laughs. She actually fucking laughs! "That bastard father of yours s' probably out somewhere gettin' drunk."

I go to my room and lock the door. I bet he is, and probably fucking some whore down town. It doesn't help that he actually got a good paying job. That son of bitch couldn't give a shit.

I toss myself into the bed and am surprised at how soft the covers are. They even smell good, as opposed to when I was younger and just had the stench of human sewage, or the dumpster. Which ever was more pleasant to the ears (or nose). And even though my life still sucks, I can't get over the fact that tomorrow will be even worse.

**X**_x_X

It is morning and time for school. My mom is banging loudly on the door and swearing; beckoning me to wake the hell up. I throw my clock at the door in response and it shatters. "I'm awake!" I scream.

"The hell did you break, boy?" She shouts from the other side.

Bitch. "Nothing!" I shout back at her and grumpily get off my bed. What a great fucking way to start the day! And I head to my closet, only to find out my pants are fucking dirty.

I run into Kevin's room. It smells of marijuana and other drugs. Always has. He's the big drug addict in the family, and his habit it surely more fucked than mine. Not to mention he fucks more girls in a day than I do in a week. I wrinkle my nose in disgust and get his pants. His fag pants. You know the ones that are super tight and show your ass real fine? Yeah, those. Exactly the types of pants Tweek wears all the time. I shiver at the reminder of the blonde.

Soon, we're all waiting for the fucking bus. It's late as usual. That fat driver is always late. He makes pit stops to McDonalds and Burger King for breakfast. Today, it's Burger King. He's drinking coffee out of a trademark cup and is glaring at us all.

"Come on, youse all. I ain't getting any younger." He barks angrily and presses the horn rather roughly. The sound blasts angrily through the silent road and I smirk. "You sure as hell ain't." I inform him before taking my seat next to Cartman. He is eating a doughnut and seeing as how I skipped breakfast at home, I lean closer to him.

"Can I have some?" I ask. He turns to look at me with disbelief in his eyes before turning to look back at the chocolate doughnut that resides in his hand. Cartman eyes it thoughtfully and smiles. He turns to me. "No, Kenny."

"Why not?" I whine, in perfect imitation of his voice.

"It's because you can buy one." He simply states.

What. A. Dick! First he wouldn't give any 'cause I was poor and now he's pulling this "you can afford it" bullshit? I kick him in the leg and he yelps.

"Aye! What the fuck is wrong with you?" Cartman shouts and I laugh. Kicking him is worth it, even if I can't have a piece of chocolate doughnut.

"You want it that bad, huh?" Cartman glares at me. "Fine!" He holds it out and I blink, staring at him. He is lying . . . right? I reach for it and he chucks it out the window. I kick him again ("Aye!") and spot Stan and Kyle two seats behind us. I'd rather sit with them.

I walk over to them, despite the protests of the fat bus driver, and sit on Stan's lap. He practically jumps in surprise and yelps, "What the hell, Kenny?" I turn to look at my favorite little red head. Kyle is staring back, just as surprised.

"Aw, I thought you loved me, St-an-ley!" I giggle and lean back, pressing my head on his shoulder. "Cartman's being a dick. I thought you'd be happy if I was here." I give him puppy eyes and he laughs.

"Hey, you faggots! Cut it out!" The bus driver yells and we all laugh, with the exception of Cartman, who agrees with him and begins to mock us. I don't really care about the comments since I'm bi, but I'm pretty sure Stan does. He's as straight as a pole.

"Okay, Kenny, get off before Wendy gets on the bus, or I'm dead." Stan taps my shoulder and I roll my eyes. Yes, Stan's totally hot and yet annoying girlfriend. How could I have forgotten? I shake my head. "No, I'd like to see what happens." I stretch my legs in front of me and set them on top of the seat in front of us. They crash into Butters' head.

"O-Ow! Hey, that's not very . . . very nice." Butters snapped and rubbed the back of his head. "Ah, sorry, I think I got your hair dirty." I reply and Butters is immediately looking in his bag for a brush.

That's the thing about Butters. His hair. No one can get it dirty or the poor boy will hyperventilate and freak out. He'll actually faint if he can't find his brush and a good can of strawberry scented hair spray.

We watch as he sprays his hair frantically and passes the brush through his hair. It's enough to makes us laugh, had not the bus stopped and picked up more students; Wendy amongst them. Kyle and Stan share a look of dread and I roll my eyes. Wendy pauses and glares at me.

"Move," She says coldly.

I grin, and give Stan a quick kiss on the cheek and she glares at me murderously. I pretend to moan and run my fingers through his hair. He shifts uncomfortably under me. "Maybe later, Stan." I wink and I go back to sit down with Cartman.

"You damn slut!" Wendy shrieks and I blow her a kiss. She's hot even though she's insulting me. Besides it's the truth.

**X**_x_X

It's lunch and there he is. Sitting on our table; OUR table. Who? Tweek, damnit! He's sitting next to Stan and having a conversation with him. I blink and Kyle blinks and we stare at each other. I thought Stan didn't like him very much.

"Aye, fuck no! I'm not sitting next to the Twitch!" Cartman snarls and takes his tray and sits next to Craig; world's greatest emo fag. Well, I can't very easily say that about him, since my clothes resemble his . . . but still.

"He's gone insane." Kyle sighed. I disagree. More like super fucking postal. We make our way to the table and sit down. I look longingly at the table Cartman is sitting at. It seems way better, and Craig isn't so bad. In fact, he's a good fuck.

"Hey." I say, noticing that he's in my seat. As soon as we leave, I'm slapping Stan. I swear. I'm not happy even having Tweek in my presence.

"AH! OH GOD!" Tweek shrieks and flails his hands wildly, causing his food to fly into the air and right into my clothes and face. I swear under my breath and glare at him coldly.

"I'm sorry!" he yelps and brings his napkin to my face and I snatch it away, wiping my face. "It's okay." I grit out, "I'm fine."

And this is why I hate Tweek. This isn't the first time he's caused food to fly into me. Maybe if he stopped being such a paranoid little fucker and laid off the coffee he'd have more friends and he'd be more pleasant to have around.

The bell rings and the dreaded period is next. Of course, I'm talking about History. History Project, here I come. Three weeks with Tweek, here I am! And sure, that sounds enthusiastic, but am I really? No, I'm not.

I want to kill myself.

Tweek is twitching and glancing at me nervously. I look at him indifferently. Like I could really care that is afraid of me. That's what I want. Maybe he'll tell the teacher and he'll change us. I shrug. Either way, he's such a loser. At least Kyle and Stan got each other and (even though Wendy was totally bitching about it) they don't hate each other, so they are fine off.

"Alright, students," Mrs. Harrison begins and clicks her tongue. I wince. That sound is very, very annoying. "We will now begin part of our History Project, so you'll have at least one idea of what to do."

Everyone groans. However, Mrs. Harrison only smiles. "Now, come on," she states, "Go sit with your little partners and whatnot."

I hastily pick up my things and march over to a vacant desk next to Tweek and dump everything in there noisily. He immediately twitches and yelps, shrieks, "OH JESUS!" and falls.

Everyone begins to laugh and I sigh. "Get up." I say and he immediately resumes the way he was seated. "So, then," I say and he twitches again. "Let's get this over with."

He nods and I try not to glare at him because he's such a loser.

"Tweek," I begin and he jumps up startled.

_When will he learn to lay off the coffee?_

Never.

"Okay, since we will be doing the Civil War, which side would you like to report on?" I simply ask. I wonder if he will comprehend that, or if his brain is too small to even understand simple utterances.

"Ergh, um, I-I don't know. This is way too much pressure!"

How can it be too much pressure to pick a fucking side? I voice my thoughts. "For fuck's sake, just pick a damn side! That's not so hard is it?" I'm sorry to say my voice wasn't exactly on the low side, and the teacher gives me a dirty look. Tweek twitches and moves away fearfully.

"Oh, Jesus! Fine . . . uh-uh, the U-union."

I try to not to frown. That fuck face is leaving me with the Confederates. This wouldn't be so bad had I not been in an accident during South Park's little Civil War reenactment; and on the Confederate side no less.

After a few moments of silence, I finally speak.

"Fine, I'll have the damn Confeds—"

Tweek shrieks and falls off the desk and into the floor and begins to bleed profusely. Cartman however laughs and soon everybody joins. I can't stop myself from laughing as well. How can you not when the very person that annoys you just got hurt?

"Ha, ha, ha! Dumbass!" Cartman points at him.

"Maybe if you stopped moving so much, Twitch!" Clyde joins in.

He looks up holding a bloody nose and everyone doesn't stop. In fact, it gets louder. Mrs. Harrison comes forward and tries to stop the noise. It doesn't.

"SHUT UP!" She screams and it becomes silent. "I don't see why you have to laugh at poor Tweek. I'm disappointed in you all, so you will all receive twenty points off your project. Kenny McCormick, go and take Tweek to the rest room, will you?"

I groan. I definitely do NOT. But she glares at me pretty angrily and I can't refuse. She might do something way more drastic. I help the little idiot off his feet and drag him to the men's room.

He should be thankful that I'm touching him for anything other than smacking the hell out of him.

He gets a roll of paper and holds it up to his nose, all while twitching. I roll my eyes and turn away. "Do you need me here or can I go?" I say bored. He winces and turns away as well. " . . ."

"Fine," I practically bark. I head out the door, and slam it behind me. I'm shaking by the time I get to class. He wears my patience thin. I mean, even around Clyde and Kyle's cousin Kyle I could last a couple of hours. Only twenty minutes with Tweek, and I want to kill myself.

I am itching for a cigarette, thought Mrs. Harrison won't be very happy if I take one out and start smoking in her class. She'll probably kill me and then call my mom. I shiver. At least she's not a bitch like Kyle's Mom. God knows what I'd do if she was.

"What happened, dude?" Kyle asked as he leaned over my desk. I scoff.

"I was partnered with that freak." I answer. "And I need a friggin' cigarette, but I have none."

Kyle shakes his head. "Just ask her for a trade. You can trade with Wendy. I hear she can't stand Jimmy's stuttering."

My eyes widen. I can't stand when he stutters so much. It's annoying. I reach for my hair and drag my fingers through. I sigh loudly. "No way." He looks at me sympathetically and laughs. I want to smack him.

And I almost do, had not my stomach growled. "Shit," I mumble. "I forgot he got my food all over me and I didn't eat." My dearest little friend holds out a candy bar and smirks.

"You owe me."

He sits down next to me and leans forward, ignoring Wendy and Stan who are currently all over each other. I scoff at them and turn back to look at Kyle. "So, what can I do you for?"

He gives me a weird look and I suddenly realize how that sounded. Or how that clashes with my reputation at being the school's biggest slut. "Oh, sorry," I say. "That's not what I meant."

"Are you going to the Carnival?" He says and I nod absentmindedly. Sure. Maybe I could pick up some girls there and fuck them later on at night. Of course I don't tell Kyle this.

"Tweek's coming."

My mouth opens in protest.

"I'm sorry, but Cartman invited him." Kyle shrugs and I stare. I thought fatass hated that little freak of the school. He's always mocking him and being mean to him (sadly, he outdoes me in this), plus beating him up occasionally.

"He says he has a surprise for him. But you are still coming, right?"

So much hope in his voice. I can't resist. I like Kyle more than I hate Cartman. I sigh and drag a finger across the desk. "Fine," I say, "But you buy me two rides."

"Fucker." Kyle grins.

"The one and only." I respond.

Besides, I am eager to see what surprise Cartman has for Tweek.

_Week One, Day One: Over._

XxSquee!xX

_That was fun. Kenny is in for a surprise too!_

**Tweek went out the ceiling. :0**

Donna of the Grey.

Signing out.


	2. Week One, Day Two: Done

I **want to **_thank _the reviewers _of _this **fic. It's **a **South Park **fic! **C**rack **pa**i_rin_gs are _fun._

X_X_x**I am **the _crack!pairing_** fuzzy alpaca. _Rawr._**X_X_x

**Cat Rain. **_kyolovestomato. _Donna of the Grey.

It doesn't matter.

**Review.**

**X**

x

x

I'm sitting in front of Kyle, who is currently talking to Stan about the new videogame he got for his Okama Game Sphere. I roll my eyes and try to tune this out. I'm not very rich and before I was incredibly poor, so these kinds of conversations were really uncomfortable.

I could barely stand that Playstation Song that Stan was always playing in his car. I roll my eyes and focused on my pizza; the white cheese that melted onto the side, the red juicy sauce that was dripping . . . the hand that snatched it away. Wait!

I look up and see Cartman eating my pizza. What the hell.

He smirks at me and pushes me further into the booth and sits down, reaching for another slice. Stan and Kyle stop talking and stare at him in an annoyed manner. He just rests against the seat and takes a sip from a cup he has obviously brought with him.

"Oh, you're here." Kyle glared at him and Stan just looked away. Cartman smiles at us in his all too Cartman-y way. I sigh.

"What do you want?" I say and he looks at me in mock-innocence. It doesn't work and I can tell he's just here to bother us. I snatch the largest slice of pizza before he's able to grab it and he glares at me.

"Aye!"

"What. Do. You. Want?" I say slowly and he sneers.

Holding up a hand in 'stop,' he smiles. "Nothin' Kenny."

I hardly believe him and I roll my eyes. Cartman isn't here for 'nothin,' I'm sure. He probably just came here to be an ass and eat all of our food for free. I see his sight linger on the large pizza in my hand and I smirk. And take a bite.

He glares at me.

"Soooo, Kenny. I was thinkin' . . ." Cartman begins nonchalantly, "I was wondering if you'd like tah change partners with me."

I tilt my head to the side a bit. Who is fatass's partner? I shrug and stare at him, eyes narrowed. I wonder who would be so bad to get ditched by Cartman. Then again, he hates everyone.

"Who is your partner?"

"Bebe." Cartman smirks and leans against his seat. Bebe? That girl is such a nerd! And she's very annoying and always talking smart. No wonder she hangs out with Wendy. They're both hippie bitches, though Wendy tends to be ruder than Bebe. However, if it'll stop me from being partners with Tweek . . .

"Sure. I don't see why not."

"No, don't," Kyle turns to us and Cartman glares in his usual manner. Kyle ignores this and looks at me. "Clyde and Butters tried and Mrs. Harrison got mad and threatened to give them zeroes. Besides, I'm sure Fatass is ready to give harassment to Tweek."

So? It's not like I care! I don't like Tweek!

"Who cares? He deserves it for being such a little freak!" Cartman laughs and I swear his belly jiggles. Like Jell-O . . . or Santa. Whichever is funnier.

"Cartman, stop being such a dick and get out of our table. You just came in here to eat our pizza, didn't you?" Stan glares at him and Cartman looks smug. I sigh. I would have loved to trade Tweek for Bebe. Too bad that bitchy teacher would give me a zero. And I cannot afford to fail that class.

I don't want to end up in a bad college, thank you very much. I look up and guess who's coming our way? Wendy. The bitch. Cartman smiles and takes off and she gives me a dirty look before sitting next to me; Kyle's occupying the seat next to Stan.

"How are you, honey?" She coos. Gag.

"Fine. Where's Bebe?" Stan questions, looking around. She gives him a pissed look and waves her hand airily. "She's looking for Cartman so he can do his part of the work for their project."

Thank God I am not stuck with fatass. I would die from doing everything and he would just sit back and eat an insane amount of junk food. " . . . and speaking of which, Kenny shouldn't you be helping Tweek do his project?"

Bitch.

Of course I was, but he said he would do it at home himself. And I wanted to wait until I did my share on the Confederates, since that little accident a while back when I was a kid.

Besides I didn't want Tweek to go into my house, or vice versa.

"Well, I think it's very rude that you are pushing all the work on poor Tweek. You have to do your share as well, and it doesn't seem you want to contribute anything to the project. You might as well fail."

How much was that? A lecture worth three hours? I roll my eyes and give her a glare. "Wendy," I begin, "What I do is none of your business. We're both doing our project. He's doing half of the information and so am I."

"Well, then you should know he was having a hard time. He asked me for help. Do you know that while you are here right now doing your work, he's at home, working on it?"

I want to smack her. I guess Stan realizes this because he gets up and grabs Wendy by the arm. "Wendy, let's get some soda."

They walk off and I punch the table, startling Kyle.

"She's such a bitch!" I grumble. Kyle nods and takes a sip of his soda. He leans forward and smirks. "I never liked her," He says, "Ever since the third grade. In my opinion, Stan should have never stopped puking on her."

I laugh and he laughs. It's cut short by Stan and Wendy's return. She glares at me and hides it when Stan turns to look at her. She smiles devilishly at me (It's sexy, I admit) and then says to me and Kyle, "We're getting a bigger table. Okay?"

I scoff. "What for? We all fit here."

She sighs and looks directly at me, "Because, _Kenny_, I invited Tweek over."

I almost choke on my soda and spit some out. It lands on her dress and she gasps in horror, wiping at her skirt.

"WHAT?" I manage to say. "Why?"

She glares at me. "We decided," She pointed at Stan, "that we are going to do our project right now. It's better to get started early on it than to procrastinate, don't you think?"

"So," I grit out, "Where's Jimmy?"

She cringes. "He's . . . he's coming. Excuse me; I have to use the lady's room." She marches away into the restroom and I scoff. The bitch probably invited Tweek just to piss me off.

Of course she probably didn't count on me asking about Jimmy. Smirk.

There's a jingle at the entrance of the pizzeria (an indication that someone has stepped in) and we all turn. Tweek steps in (whom else?) and looks around, probably for Wendy, who at that moment emerges out of the restroom.

She spots Tweek and heads towards him, setting her hand on his shoulder.

He shrieks, "OH GOD!" and startles practically everyone in the pizzeria. Wendy even shrieks in return. I want to laugh, but remembering that Tweek is there makes me prevent myself from doing so.

"Ergh, I'm sorry Wendy." He stutters out.

"Would you like to sit with us?" Wendy asks and places a hand on his shoulder.

"Ergh! O-oh, sorry. You s-scared me . . ."

What does she do? She sits him down. Next to _me_. He twitches slightly and gives me an uneasy glance. I try to be nice. "Do you want some?" I point to the pizza. He looks at it uneasily.

"S-somebody touched it already! It could have germs! What if I die? This is way too much pressure!" He stutters quickly and shakes his head. I struggle not to glare. "You are not going to die."

"H-How do you know? Jesus!" Tweek trembled.

"Your parents feed you, don't they? And doesn't your mother touch the food?" I say. He looks at me shocked and lets out a twitch, running his fingers through his untamed and wild hair.

"Oh God! You're right! What if I did? What if my mom's trying to murder me?"

I roll my eyes as he begins freaking out. This is exactly why he annoys me. As he keeps mumbling about germs and them being the possible cause of his early death, there is a loud slam and his face falls into the pizza.

Cartman is holding his closed fist up triumphantly and smirking. "Oh, Ah'm sorry, Tweek. Ah didn't see you."

He, however, is swiping at his nose and freaking out even more. "Oh, God! I'm covered in germs!"

It's not working and he gets more sauce on his face. Everyone is laughing, even me. It's hilarious. Cartman however, stops laughing and gets a serious look on his face.

"Ah, Tweek. You missed a spot."

He slams a handful of sauce into Tweek's face.

"AH! JESUS!"

"Cartman," Wendy begins, "Apologize!"

"Why should I, you hippie bitch?" Cartman snarls. It seems everyone forgets about Tweek as the two begin to fight. Wendy's screaming at him and Cartman is shouting obscenities.

I turn to the blonde and he's twitching and cleaning his face with a napkin. "Hey." I say loudly enough for him to hear. He nearly jumps out of his seat. "Jesus!"

"Go home before they remember they were humiliating you."

Some can say I was being a nice person, but I say otherwise. I didn't want him sitting next to me anymore, much less see him.

I turn and face the two fighting, ignoring the jingle of the bell as he leaves.

It's pretty funny. He came and was chased out by the same people who invited him.

_Week One, Day Two: Done._

XxSquee!xX

_That was fun. Kenny is in for a surprise too!_

**Tweek went to my house. D:**

Donna of the Grey.

Signing out.


	3. Week One, Day Three: For

I **want to **_thank _the reviewers _of _this **fic. It's **a **South Park **fic! **C**rack **pa**i_rin_gs are _fun._

X_X_x**I am **the _crack!pairing_** fuzzy alpaca. _Rawr._**X_X_x

**Cat Rain. **_kyolovestomato. _Donna of the Grey.

I like Fall Out Boy. Fuck you.

**Review.**

**X**

x

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"Shit, shit, shit!" It's a chant. I admit it. But I'm hurrying to get home. This day isn't any better than the day before. And it is Sunday. What a fucking bummer. Tomorrow is school, which means, yeah, you guess it! The project with Tweek! All I need is Tony the fucking Tiger to leap out of nowhere and scream, "Greaaaaat!"

And running is my worn up _Converse_ isn't helping either. In fact, the slightly slippery sidewalk for yesterday's rain shower makes it a bit impossible to run. I almost slip.

I need a freaking shower. And then I have to leave the house. Maybe Dad will let me borrow his car. Maybe he'll kill me first. Who knows? Well, my dad wouldn't really hurt a fly; in fact, they used to be attracted to him. But he would fight with my mom. I sigh.

I see the house becoming closer and closer and I can already feel the warm water running down my body. I shiver. If only the wind would warm up a little.

I step inside and Kevin is sitting on the couch, staring in a trance at the T.V. Paris Hilton is dancing around and singing and I roll my eyes. Kevin can't get enough of that whore. Too bad Anna Nicole Smith is dead. He couldn't get enough of her either.

I walk by and he mumbles a low 'dungoinfronofteevee' and I flip him off. Like I care. That's probably some re-run of her anyway. Sadly, R&B and MTV are rotting Kevin's mind, because his taste in music is seriously lacking.

I take a quick shower with warm water and Raspberry scented shampoo. It's relaxing, and best of all, keeps my mind off annoying people. Namely, you know. I want to stay in there for as long as I can, but the water begins to cool and is soon a waterfall of ice cubes.

I get out and dry myself quickly with my own orange towel. There's no way in hell I'd use Kevin's or Dad's; it's covered in oil and grease and probably human sewage. Or some kind of sexually transmitted disease from all the whores he's banging.

I make sure not to let my things touch his.

I get dressed and stop by the doorway to inform my brother I'm leaving.

"Kevin, I'm going."

"Uh."

"Tell Mom I'll be back by dinner."

"Uh."

"Can't you say anything other than 'Uh,' you fucking moron?" I sneer.

This time he actually turns to glare at me and sends a pillow towards my direction. I quickly shut the door and it thumps against it loudly. If it was something else, I'm sure the door would break.

I turn and begin to run. Stan's house isn't very far away, thankfully. However, I do have to pass by Cartman's and he has the tendency to throw things at me. Eggs, rocks, _knives_.

And just as I get near his house, there he is, sitting on his front steps. I mentally curse. In his hand there's a chocolate milk shake, and that shit is hard to get off clothes. I mentally curse whatever Deity possessed him to step outside, with _that_ of all things.

I casually walk behind my spot behind the tree and get prepared to run as quickly as I can.

He spots me and smirks. "Well, Kenneh, what brings you hya?"

"Oh, you know. I have to go to Stan's house . . ." I trail off and he gives his milk shake a thoughtful stare and swivels it around in his cup.

"Ohhh, practicing for your fag band?" Cartman asked innocently and he stared up at me with a mock innocent smile. I roll my eyes. He can't over the fact that when he had a band, it went spiraling down. Oh, and let's not forget about Fingerbang. I later learned what that meant, and guess what? Girls enjoy it!

"Don't go getting mad at _me_ for the failure of Fingerbang and MOOP." I say.

He glares at me and tosses his milk shake at the ground by my shoes. It splatters all over the ground and upwards and thankfully, I jump out of the way in time.

"And why are you out here, Cartman?" I ask.

He mumbles something and I lean forward smirking. "What did you say?"

"I SAID BEBE IS COMING OVER GODAMMIT!" He screams rather loudly.

"Ahhh," I tut, "Gonna get it on with the nerd?"

"You wish."

"No I don't. I'd rather not picture that, actually."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" He screams and lunges at me. I step out of the way and begin to run off before he can catch me. He's screaming loudly and using a shitload of profanity. It's hilarious.

Just a couple of more streets and I reach Stan's house, panting from all the running. And not just to get there on time. The resident stray dog Sylvester found it upon himself to chase me down and he retreated after I neared Stan's house, mostly because it was afraid Sparky would butt fuck him again.

"Where were you, man?" Craig asks as I near the open garage.

"Running for my life," I mumble and sit on a chair. "Sylvester chased me around the neighborhood."

"Ah, you should have called." Craig shakes his head and continues to set up his guitar.

"I lost my cell phone." I answer.

"You mean the pink Motorola RAZR?" He smirks.

"That's the one. It had all the naked pictures of you in there." I answer and he gasps melodramatically, holding his chest and uttering a small, "No!"

"You'll be exposed . . . like Paris Hilton!"

"NO!" And he pretends to drop to the floor.

"Ah, Kenny, you're here!" Stan and Kyle emerge into the garage.

Pshf. Of course I am. For I am invincible and nothing stops me! Except sex and hot people who want to sleep with me. Of course, I don't say that. I just nod.

"So, then . . . I would like one of you to take me home after this." I state.

"No, you whore. Go find someone else to fuck." Kyle smirks and I roll my eyes.

"I meant, give me a ride home so the fucking dog won't chase me and I can avoid having Cartman throw knives at me."

"I can't. I gotta pick Ike up from his soccer game."

"I'll do it." Craig shrugs. I nod and then point towards the equipment.

"So let's get started."

There is an uneasy silence and Stan rubs the back of his head. "Erm, you don't mind if Wendy watches do you? She kinda wanted to . . ."

I shrug. "Of course, and we'll give the bitch a show."

"HEY!"

It takes a while for her to get to Stan's house and she finally arrives. Fashionably late my ass! She's wearing a tight fighting pink sweater and her pink beret, with a tight black skirt. Did I mention the hooker boots? No? Well, she has 'em.

"Okay, let's start with yesterday's song? I don't feel like singing any of our songs yet." I say as I fix the microphone and she rolls her eyes. Like she knows anything about music except hippie shit!

I wait for the guitar to begin and soon it's my time to sing. "_You're a canary, I'm a coal mine. 'Cause sorrow, oh, is just all the rage_."

"_Take one for the team; you all know what I mean. And I'm so sorry, but not really; tell the boys where to find my body_.

_New York eyes, Chicago thighs . . . pushed up the window to kiss you off_."

I look through the corner of my eye and Wendy seems surprised that I actually have a talent. It looks like she thinks she's the only one worth worshipping besides Stan. Or that she's the only one with a talent . . . besides Stan.

"_Not sure if it's worse than anything I could bring myself to do to you;_

_not sure if it's worse than anything I could bring myself to do to you_."

Craig breaks out with the guitar and she looks surprised too. I'm sure she thought only Stan could play the guitar with perfection. However, she doesn't pay attention to Kyle who's the drummer. I guess she hates him more than me?

"_Do you remember the way I held your hand under the lamp post and ran home?_

_Ohh, oh, oh! This way, so many times I could close my eyes_."

She sends a look to Stan and smiles. I bet he actually did hold her hand under a lamp post. Makes the Care Bears want to puke a river, or maybe it's just me.

"_Not sure if it's worse than anything I could bring myself to do to you;_

_not sure if it's worse than anything I could bring myself to do to you . . . _"

Craig follows up with the guitar again and she narrows her eyes. I know what she's thinking. The horror! I seriously want to smack her in the face over and over again.

"_Not sure if it's worse than anything I could bring myself to do;_

_not sure if it's worse than anything I could bring myself to do to you._

_Not suuuuuuure, not suuuuuuuure . . . ahhh ahhh_."

She breaks out into a clap and smiles. At Stan, not at us. "That was excellent! You played really well!" Stan just turns a bit pink and I roll my eyes. Right, and what about Kyle and Craig?

"So do you have any songs you wrote?" She asks Stan. Too bad he doesn't write the lyrics. I do. And this might piss her off.

"Yeah, Kenny wrote 'em."

She arches an eyebrow and looks at me. "Care to sing one?"

"Ah, you like songs about picking up hookers and banging them in your house?" Of course this is a lie, but you should see her face. It's turning red and fuming. Ahh, sweet bliss.

"Stan, you shouldn't have him writing the lyrics if it's about . . . that!" She shrieks. He shakes his head and laughs and she proceeds to whack him angrily, demanding what's _so funny_. She is.

"He's lying." Kyle adds.

"Shut up." She says spicily and turns to Stan, "Well, I have to go home now—" GOOD. "So I'll see you tomorrow!" She stands on her toes and kisses him on the lips before skipping out of the garage. Fucking whore. I bet now she's going to bang Token.

Stan waves back and we all look at each other before all bursting out, "What a bitch!"

"What?" He snaps back to us.

"Come on, she acts like if you're the only one in the band. She told Kyle to shut up when he just _informed_ her that I was _lying_, which she was too dumb to notice because she hates me."

"She's not a bitch." He says, in manner that meant he wasn't trying to convince us.

We all stay quiet, before Craig finally speaks up. "So, the sex is really that good, huh?"

Stan smirks and it quickly disappears. "Come on, let's finish up before Shelly's HxC friends come and kick us out."

We set up for another song and when we hear a loud yelp. It sounds girly and strangely familiar. Running outside, we see that Wendy and her car are long gone and some kids are playing outside.

"Maybe it was a cat."

"Whatever."

We go back to the garage and I look around. What the hell was that? It sounded more like a person that a _cat_. I pause and look at the bushes. And one moves, or so I think it does. Nobody notices, so it's probably just me.

I see something blue, like an eye and I shriek. Girlishly, unfortunately.

"What the hell, Kenny?" Kyle laughs and pats me on the back. "What happened?"

"There's something in the bushes!"

"There's nothing in there. Calm down, woman." Craig grins and they all laugh.

I blink and I see nothing there. It was probably just me. So I look down at my shoes before looking up.

"So, wanna play _The Take Over; The Break's Over_?"

_Week One, Day Three: For._

XxSquee!xX

_I've Got All This Ringing In My Ears And None of My Fingers._

**R.I.P. Anna Nicole Smith! D:**

Donna of the Grey.

Signing out.


	4. Week One, Day Four: Intervention

**Dear Gery,**

**How's the weather over there in France? Is it still cold like you told me a week ago? I'm also sorry your hamster died. I had one once, and it made me very sad when he died too. My Mom said we couldn't get another one, because if it died then I would get depressed. And there aren't that many interesting things going on here. We're doing a History Project at school on wars of the U.S. and I got the Civil War. The Civil War was when the country was fighting with itself and separated into two groups; the Union and the Confederacy. The Union was against slavery and the Confederacy was for slavery; they fought for many other reasons as well, but as far as I know that was one of the main ones. The leader of the Confederacy was Robert E. Lee, and I think the Union's was Ulysses S. Grant. I forget, and I'm the one doing the Union. Oh, and I got partnered with this guy called Kenny McCormick. I don't think he likes me very much though. He gets mad at me easily. And he never smiles at me. He usually says mean things to me, like most of his friends. His friend Cartman is the worst. He hits me and does mean things to me all the time. He throws my food to the floor or eats it and leaves me to starve. Isn't that heartless? Yesterday, Stan's girlfriend Wendy, I told you about her right? Well, she invited me to the Pizzeria and as soon as I got there, Cartman hit me in the back of the head and my face fell into the pizza and I got really dirty, and Kenny told me to leave before his friends did anything else. That was really nice of him, so maybe he doesn't hate me so much? And today I was walking around Stan's neighborhood looking for my cat who got lost there and I found him on the bushes outside and grabbed them, but then I didn't want to leave because Kenny got there and the garage was open and they would see me get out. And then Wendy came by and they played music. I think they have a band together, but I forget the name. Anyways, Kenny is the lead singer and he sings really pretty. It made me feel happy and I actually stopped twitching while he sang it. But then they stopped and Wendy left. My cat was feeling bored so he began squirming and scratched me, and I accidentally yelled and was almost discovered. But they thought it was a cat. And Kenny almost saw me, but his friends told him nothing was there. I'm lucky because then they would have found me and would have probably done something mean to me, or think I'm stalking them. They played more music and I wanted to stay there forever listening, but Stan's older sister came with all her friends and told them to leave and her friends began to play real loud music. I fell asleep waiting for them to leave as well, and when they did, it was twelve at night. My parents were really scared, but I told them that I was okay and nothing happened. Well, then, write back soon! **

**From your Friend,**

**Tweek**


	5. Week One, Day Six: Ruin

I **want to **_thank _the reviewers _of _this **fic. It's **a **South Park **fic! **C**rack **pa**i_rin_gs are _fun._

X_X_x**I am **the _crack!pairing_** fuzzy alpaca. **_**Rawr.**_X_X_x

**Cat Rain. **_kyolovestomato. _Donna of the Grey.

I like Fall Out Boy. Fuck you.

**Review.**

**X**

x

x

"Annnd, today is the day!" I say as the alarm blares out. It's Tuesday. You know, Tuesday? The day after yesterday and the day I meet my doom filled partner again? Yeah. I'm not happy, as you can tell by my mock enthusiasm. Yesterday sucked and today will too. I throw in an orange parka that resembles the one I used to have as a kid. But this one is not as thick and has fur.

I think of it as my, "Ha! In your face, PETA!" parka. Of course, if they did actually catch a glimpse of me, they would probably throw a pie in my face as they did to Calvin Klein. Ah, well.

After a good ten minutes, I'm fully dressed and head downstairs for breakfast. Eggs, bacon, toast, and orange juice. Isn't this original. I take my seat next to Kelsey; annoying brat and lesbianism's best friend. She's just eating eggs and toast.

She's very concerned about her weight. However, I don't see _why_. She's as skinny as a strip pole. And when you think about it, it's not a very good thing to be compared to.

"Kenny," Mom looks at me. She's wearing her hair in a bun and is wearing a business suit. To tell the truth, I'm not used to her looking so clean and professional. Of course, I stay quiet and look right back. "I need you to pick up Kelsey after school."

I nearly spit out my food. "Ehhh? Why?" I nearly yell.

"Because I have to go to work today, and yer good fer nothin' father ain't gonna go pick her up, ya hear?" She glared at me and I hushed up. I know that look. She always makes it and it means she _will_ throw something _heavy_.

"But Mom," I begin and Kelsey smirks, "I'm doing a project today with my partner." I'm lying. Like I'd rather be with Tweek. Actually, between the two, I'd kill myself.

"Really? Well, then. Take Kelsey with you. I'm sure yer little friend won't mind. And just so I'm sure yer doin' what you told me you'll be doin', Kelsey will tell me if you go anywhere else. Or if you don't pick her up."

Kelsey smiles at me evilly and I glare at her. "Fine!" I shout and stand up, already finished. "But she hits on any of the people we pass by, I'm leaving her there!"

I grab my knapsack and run out of the freaking house. Like I want to go pick her up after school. So all her little friends can hit on me? Right. Not to mention they all look like dykes.

I find myself at the front of the school and push the doors open; everyone is walking around and opening their lockers or just standing there and chatting. I roll my eyes at I catch sight of Cartman who is giving me threatening looks.

I look around for Kyle and catch a glimpse of him, and someone with black hair. It's probably Craig or Stan. I get closer and notice that it can't possibly be them, unless they sprouted glorious Herbal Essences worthy hair. It's . . . _Wendy_?

She's whispering something and he's nodding. Eh. She's probably asking for him to say something to Stan. She's been doing that lately. I shrug and heads towards him, earning surprised looks for both of them.

"Erm, am I interrupting something?" I ask slowly. Wendy shakes her head and Kyle shrugs. "Ah, okay then . . ."

"I guess I should leave, then." Wendy makes a little bow and walks off. I look behind her puzzled. That, and her ass looks really good in tight jeans. Kyle snaps his fingers in front of my face and I look back at him. "Anyways, what was going on? Telling you to give little messages to Stan again?" I smirk.

He ignores me and asks, "So, are we going out after school to the arcade?"

"Fuck. No, I have to go to Tweek's with Kelsey." I huff and then explain the entire story to Kyle who laughs hysterically and begins to have a hard time breathing. I glare at him and he stops.

"Damn it, I wish Bebe was my partner," I sigh, "But I think she'd rather not after last time." Yes, our class's second ranking nerd was at my house and Kelsey hit on her. Need I say more?

"Well you'd better tell him now before it's all unexpected." Kyle points at Tweek who is at his locker, unloading and loading stuff into his back pack. I march over to him as soon as he closes it and I slam my hand on the locker next to his head. He shrieks and presses himself against the lockers rather painfully.

I resist the urge to laugh and keep a calm voice. "I'm going to your house after school."

"W-why? Are you going to beat me up or something? Oh, Jesus!"

"No. Remember our little history project?" I say in mock innocence.

"Oh."

I walk off and catch up with Kyle who's smirking.

"What?" I snap.

"It looked like you were going to make out with him."

"Fuck you."

**X**_**x**__**X**_

It is History class and we're all sitting with our partners. It's hell. Everyone has somebody to talk to and I only have Tweek. The only one who seems to be doing his work quietly. And twitching.

I sigh inwardly. I. WANT. TO. LEAVE! But what good will that do? I still have to go to his house after school. With my little lesbian sister. Grr!

"Hey." I say and he winces and shrieks, "Jesus!"

"Ah . . . um . . . y-yes?" Twitch. Twitch. _Twitch_.

"My sister is coming too."

"Why?"

And I say this morning's story again, excluding the details of how I used him as a way to get out and whatnot. He nods and says it's okay. But it's not! She shouldn't even be coming and neither should I!

"Is it . . . ergh . . . Keh-Kelsey?"

What other sister do I have? Of course it is!

"Yes. How did you know?"

"Ergh, Bebe to-told us all a-about her."

Figures. Oh, well. At least he's been warned. I smirk. "Be glad you aren't a girl, then. If I know Bebe, I know she told you everything."

"Um . . ."

"Maybe I should warn you that she doesn't care when you're a guy sometimes."

And I tell him why.

_Week One, Day Six: __Ruin._

XxSquee!xX

_In the episode "Best Friends Forever," when Kenny and his family went to the amusement park, there was a little girl with them. I named her __**Kelsey**_

**I do not know her real name. Or if she's Kenny's sister.**

**PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW. OR EXPECT NO UPDATE. THANKS.**

Donna of the Grey.

Signing out.


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